Howdy Y’all

This is my first official blog post of which I hope of many, I am not only using this as a way to get too sleep and stop me being awake at ungodly hours but also to free some of the many thoughts that buzz through my head frequently!

I was inspired by a recent event to blog my thoughts and feelings on everyday life and just about everything else. This event was a gig I went to with a friend, my friend knew the band through chatting on MSN and Myspace becoming a very big fan, I could also be considered a fan as I do have the bands album even though it only cost £4. But anyway the band in question were a local band who were playing in Leeds, my friend decided he liked them enough to travel to Leeds by train and go and see the band in a small local club, I tagged along as I often do. Upon arrival by taxi, we realised we had wasted good money, time and effort as the club could only be described as nothing but a dive, yes that right we had paid £24 to see a local band play at a dive. Annoyed we had reassurance that the band and at least there would be a good crowd, oh how wrong were. We entered to find that were about 2 in 10 people, a few of which consisted of two out of three bands that bothered showing up and a band member’s Mum and Dad. Upon entry, the band we came to see were nice enough to greet us happily and seemed genuinely pleased we were there which was nice, they tried to engage us in conversation but my mind went blank and I could only seem to talk in pleasantries which happens frequently to me. This is what frustrates me, I am incapable of engaging in the simple form of human communication, I feel so stupid but it’s a habit I cannot over come.

So that night resulted on me and my friend being the two huge nerds that travelled all the way from York to watch a band no one cared about play in a place that had as much charm and class as a Scotsman (I’m half Scottish btw,) in all fairness they played brilliantly and it’s a sin there so unappreciated they’re also great funny guys and it was great to spend an evening with them although they probably won’t say the same for me!

It just made me think though how much I beg to be like normal person, who can interact freely, who is not constantly thinking of how to respond to people, what to say or how to act in certain social situations, it infuriates me to no end that I do not have these social skills and nor will i ever learn them, I think I should of been taught them in school instead of endlessly pointless math work because something went wrong when I learned how to interact and I can’t help think what.

 To be fare to myself I often don’t seem like this, in most situations I am quite a confident person and to be honest it doesn’t depress me that I don’t have these skills, it just annoys me when I need them. Another example of this is were I work, a certain cinema in which i’m not sure can mention. The people there are a near flawless bunch who make the job tolerable, but again I can’t act like myself and it’s frustrating. I can with some people but it’s very rare, there are random times when the normal Wesley appears, only for it to vanish in a puff of smoke and I’m left with the socially retarded Wesley who talks in nothing but pleasantries (always with the damn pleasantries!) I’m not sure what people think of me there, I’m sure a few like me while others just think I’m odd or don’t care, it doesn’t really bother me but I’m one of those people who doesn’t like to be hated and wants to please everyone!

Anyway I needed to get that off my mind and it helped, a particularly deep first addition to the blog but I guess it was a sort of good introduction to. I will discuss pop culture and things in other posts as I consume oh so much media, as well as posting a web-comic (hopefully) but it’s not like people will read this anyway and those who do would of given up reading by now so…ham.

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