Anyway, one of the things I’ve wanted to do the most and well one of the things I’ve always wanted to do was write a Sitcom! Since I was young, I’ve always loved comedy, it’s definitely my favourite well anything really! I’ve always been that type of person who, even though I should sometimes, tries never to take life too seriously, and that’s what I love about comedy, it can work on so many levels, it can accompany any other genre, tell so many different serious messages while being completely silly and if it is done well is just amazing!

So naturally, being someone who is quite well learned in the world of comedy (well I at least like to think I am), I’ve always wanted to get into it, my shyness stops me from being a stand up comedian since it is supposedly one of the hardest jobs there is (I really couldn’t take heckling at all!) I’ve always wanted to write comedy instead, and although I have done it in a minor way several times, I don’t have anything solid I can show someone and be like ‘there you go that’s some humour I have done now laugh!’ So finally getting round to start writing a Sitcom is so very fun and exciting for me!

It all started when I was out with some friends and said we should all take time off work and write a sitcom based on our job, cinema work obviously, I didn’t mean it seriously it was just something I thought would be cool, but my friend Rosie was up for it, being a writer herself, so we decided to go for it!

We planned for a bit, and I already had some stuff left over from trying to write one based on my previous job when I worked in a kitchen at an old folks home, and also a few vague writing attempts at making a Clerks-esque film set in a cinema, then last week had our first writing session. Needless to say being two people who like writing and mind constantly swells with creative juices, it went very well and pretty much got the first 4 scenes written. We’re kind of going for something along the lines of Srubs, The Simpsons, The Young Ones, just daft comedies that also have a lot of heart and want to get a message across, and I don’t want to give too much away but it is obviously based on our little friendship group at work and whenever I think about it I get very excited and just want to tell everyone every little detail!

We couldn’t make a meeting this week as we were both busy, but we should soon both be living together when I move out so we should be getting more done soon, it would be amazing if we could record it, we know plenty of people who would be able to help us so who knows! Exciting times!

Until next time friends, whenever that may be!

Wes out!

It was an installation by Jenny Holzer who is an artist known to use words as art, the piece mainly focused on using heavily censored U.S. government documents. After being released to the public, she as only allowed to show certain words of the documents as the rest had been heavily censored, she also displayed other things such as autopsy reports, incident accounts from both civilian and soldier perspectives, all displayed on LED signs very slowly. This part of the exhibit, although being the main part wasn’t as compelling as the idea of it was, as although it was sort of like a wake up call and made me very aware that war is a very real thing (which sounds strange I know,)  I think it was a bit unnecessarily vast as the piece proved it’s point very quickly but seemed to need to remind you of it too frequently. Also, the speed the LEDs displayed the information was deliberately slow, almost at breathing speed, it was a frustrating way to display it which was probably the point of it but still. On a similar theme, she had another display called the Lustmord Tables, which consisted of a table of ordered bones, some with metal bands engraved with text that is sometimes deliberately covered up, again this piece was pretty shocking and added a more physical representation of showing the realities of violence and conflict as the bones are intended to represent the atrocities of the wars in former Yugoslavia, which included the systematic rape of women and girls, this was definitely the most thought provoking piece of the installation but again just felt she was reiterating her point too much. Finally, my favourite part of the exhibition was based apparently on an older piece of her’s called Truisms and also collects some other pieces of her writing,  which are a series of rapid one liners all lined up one on top of the other, in various colours, scrolling across the LED display all at different speeds with conflicting messages, I enjoyed this because some of the one liners were often relateable, awful truths, bite sized philosophy, just very compelling pieces of texts suggesting contemplative engagement , I could of looked at it all day but we had to leave! Anyway here is a link to her Truisms if you want to read them: Jenny Holzer: Truisms

Me and friends outside the BALTIC, notice one of Jenny Holzer’s one-liners on the side of the building

On the same visit I also went to the Laing art gallery to see an exhibit called From Bowie To Beatles: The 60s exposed, and although it wasn’t as deep and compelling as the displays at the BALTIC, I still very much enjoyed it. It consisted of photographs of big artists from the 60s and some other items relating to them like magazine and album covers, and as just a big music fan in general it was very interesting, but the thing I was interested in the most was the photos of The Beatles, not sure if I mentioned before but I’m a massive Beatles fan (albeit not been one for very long but still a big fan nonetheless,) and the fact this band went from nothing to being the biggest band in the world and one of the most influential bands in modern music to then breaking up in just the space of a decade is incredibly fascinating and also very tragic in my opinion, by the time we got to the end of the exhibit and some of the last photos of them as a group were being displayed I was feeling very sad! Overall it was a nice little insight into the crazy world of 60s music, and it’s pretty amazing how it can all be told just in photographs!

So there you go, very artsy times for me as of recent, I’m not going to cross go to an art gallery off my list though because I feel I want to visit as many as I can, and feed my art craving mind until I vomit creativity! Anyway I will leave you with that lovely image, until next time (which should be soon!)

Wes Out!

So I wrote a few entries back that I was helping out at a writing workshop which helped kids expand their imaginations after watching our matinee ‘kids club’ film and then writing about some of the issues, themes, characters etc featured in each film. It ran for four weeks and has been finished for a while just getting round to writing about it! and I can say it was an overall success!

As I also previously mentioned I have never worked with kids properly before but have considered it as a serious career in the form of a teacher, so the whole experience was  amazing and reaffirmed this consideration, I can safely say that I would love to work with kids! I sounds so lame when people way it is rewarding but they’re right! One kid who attended every week said he hated writing, and I think he was just there so his mum could have a few hours peace, but by the end of it he had written his own little book! It felt like something out of a film, we reached out to the kid etc, he also seemed like he was from the sort of family that wouldn’t encourage that kind of thing so I can only hope we truly inspired him! His book was about a drug dealer which raises questions about how he knew about that sort of stuff at 10, but who knows he could be the next big gritty action writer, or maybe the next Danny Dyer (whether that is a good thing or not is debatable.) But overall the whole experience did change me, taught me something about myself and I’m very happy that I took part in it!

Anyway I’m going to post another new post tomorrow and the day after just because I’ve got so much to write about it saves each blog being too long, AND they are already written so will definitely be posted!  So until then…

Wes out!

With so many people in the industry, and knowing quite a few people that work in it obviously, I can’t help think that we’re  trapped, stuck in a rut we can’t get out of. I know part of being where I am is due to my very average A level results, but I was told A levels are important but I’m pretty sure there are people who were in my year that didn’t go on to A level and have better paid jobs than I have! Surely even having even average A level results is worth something?  If not I was lied too when I was told that they were!

Then there’s the increasingly populer degrees, some are completely useless and I’ll be the first to admit it. Not that I’m saying people who have them didn’t work hard to get them it’s just the unfair world we live in now where a lot of people have them and unless the degree is one in something stand out and has high merit, I find they are getting completely disregarded when it comes to employment after graduating. Realising this was one of the reasons I bailed on my degree but I wish I realised it before I started it! We’re told that higher education is so important, but when a poor soul who has worked hard to get a degree and it doesn’t go straight into a job or like I said isn’t really sort after, is now thousands in debt and forced to work in a unstimulating, poorly paid job, which will most likely be in the retail industry or some form of customer service job! I speak from witnessing this first hand, countless people come and go from where I work, fresh out of University, with no clue what to do with themselves! Some decide to stay and hopelessly try to climb the ladder towards promotion, which believe me takes years and only really pays well when you have reached the very top. I think it’s crazy that some poor soul, maybe with a philosophy degree, who is infinitely more intelligent than the majority of higher ups in most retail jobs, may struggle to get promoted because someone else who’s maybe worked there a while longer decided the popcorn could be displayed a bit better, or a sneaky way to exploit customers for more money, will get promoted instead! Maybe eventually running a whole site of a huge corporation and they could even just have GCSEs! You may think this hypothetical situation is a bit extreme, but it’s very much the case!

So now we’re stuck with a whole generation of people in debt, people who were lied to by being told a degree will get them a good job, will make them go places, but this isn’t always the case. Now I’m not saying that any person with any degree should just automatically get an amazing job, it should just count towards something at least, leading them into work should be happen for the majority of degrees if not all of them, just even helping them out afterwards just a little because these people have just paid thousands of pounds for it! Then you’ve got people like me, with A levels that mean absolutely nothing with nowhere to go. The way we educate, the way we employ it needs to change, skills need to be taught, what needs to be studied that is deemed important needs to be specified or we’re just going to be stuck with a mass of doomed youths, with no direction, no money and no hope!

But first though the blog entry I made below this was earlier in the day and is a further two poems I have written over the month, again just to make it easier to read but from now on will post all forms of writing I do as individual blog posts for feedback and such, so if you haven’t read my poems yet I hope you do I hope you can give me some feedback I also hope you enjoy them!

Moving on to the events of the once past month of March, I was treated to a trip to a place in Britain I have never been before The Forest Of Dean my friend Rosie grew up there and decided to take a bunch of us from work with her when she went back to visit!

Needless to say it was a beautiful place, it was a tiny little village on the outskirts of the forest in which we stayed with a house complete with a little cellar that needed an epic dungeon key to open! What followed was a weekend of beautiful scenery, and pure unadulterated friendship.

I’m always at my happiest with people I am comfortable with, and I actually find it quite hard mentally to be comfortable with people, constantly thinking about whether I’m entertaining enough, how I come across etc all the usual anxiety probably half of the human race suffer from, it’s just rather difficult as you may already know. But anyways with the people I went with it was different, and it’s strange because for so long I’ve only been completely comfortable with my group of closest friends and a select few individuals, so I guess I have unintentionally worked on #42 Gain 10 close new friends worked on a bit too because I feel much closer to those people after the trip, and a lot closer to a few other people who I have befriended at work, so much so they helped inspire my poem about friendship in my previous blog.

So the trip was relaxing, beautiful and I feel I got closer to a few friends. Other highlights included going to the cathedral were some of Harry Potter was filmed, going to a forest that inspired J.R.R Tolkin and visiting a gave were some of Doctor Who was filmed! We spent the evenings playing bored games, drinking wine and watching movies it was essentially what I live for and will unlikely forget it!

So all in all this sort of shows the sort of awesome times I’ve had in March but there’s still more to come, my list is coming along nicely!

until soon (and I mean it!)

Wes Out!

Anyway over the past month I have managed to write two more poems, it is a medium that I am enjoying writing in although I am aware that poetry can easily fall into pretentious  or just be plain bad so I am open and would appreciate some criticism and feedback so I can improve and such!

This first one I wrote about my friends after I had some really lovely times with a bunch of them over the past month, I can see how it’s incredibly schmaltzy but I try and make it aware of how sappy it is because it is expression of actual feelings I have:

An Ode To Friendship

This is for those whom I love platonically

So much so my heart swells at the mere thought of wasting my days with you

Please know that when you leave me I miss you

When I get on a train

When you get on a bus

When we part ways on your doorstep

I feel my heart twinge with sadness

Please know when we laugh and it falls silent it’s not awkward

When I run out of things to say

When you feel you’ve told me everything

When we both quietly sit and smile

There’s no other conversation I’d rather be having

Please know when we’ve got nowhere to go, nothing to do I’m not bored

When I say ‘What do you want to do?’

When you say ‘I don’t know, what do you want to do?’

When we both agree that nothing is fine

Because not doing anything is only fun with you

Please know that when everything seems bleak

When I don’t know what to do with myself

When you feel you’re going nowhere

When we both get stuck in our rut

You are the reason I carry on, what I am living for

So let me romanticise it eternally

Exaggerate it needlessly

Until I sanctify it blasphemously

Just let me say

I love you

Each and every one of you.

The next poem I wrote was after someone I knew’s younger brother tragically died, although I didn’t  know the person very well I really felt for him, made me think about if I lost someone close to me and how awful it would be! It mostly made me think about how strange death is and how bereavement is simply one of the worst things human’s can go through!

To Those Who Have Lost

How strange that death makes us feel the most human, most alive

How strange we may realise how much you meant to us, did we take you for granted?

How strange we lose sleep over you, when you’re at rest

How strange that it makes us question our mortality, why is it so forgettable?

How strange it makes us think who deserves to live, and who deserves to die

So we’ll take our favourite drink

We’ll raise it to the sky

Toast how much we miss you

Shed the tears from our eyes

Try to get things back to normal

Try to kid that we can get by

Find some way of coping

Though we feel it’s pointless to try

So if things ever seem quite ‘normal’

And you feel you’re off our minds

Just notice how we’re still a little bit broken

And you’ll know your still on it all the time.

Again I think it takes itself too seriously but I guess it is about death, but still I quite like it I wrote it free hand with no planning as you can probably tell so I like that it was a genuine stream of emotion and contemplation.

Next time I will post my poems as I write them along with any other writing I do, it’s just as usual, I just haven’t had time (translation: too lazy) but I’m definitely going to make the effort from now on because I really do enjoy it!

anyway till next blog post,

Wes out!

Now I usually plan my blogs before I write them but this time It’s a sort of stream of thought so may read differently to my other blog posts.

Anyway, the music industry has changed completely over the past 10 years. We’ve seen the fall of the CD and the rise of the MP3, not only this but piracy has increased on a vast scale, to the point were some recording artists are even deciding to leave the business! We now live in a world were in 10 minutes you could download pretty much any album you desire, which is frankly insane compared to the days of people going to music shops and purchasing music in a physical form.

As the great man himself, Stewart Lee, said ‘when I was young and you liked an artists music you went out and bought it not stole it.’ This is what I recently found myself pondering, is downloading an album disrespectful to the artist? what is the true value of music? and do we have a right to critique music, quite often with unrelenting venom, if we got it for free?

The reason I found myself asking myself this question is today I downloaded a leaked album of an band I quite like, not a great deal but enough to steal their music even before it’s released, and after listening to the album went on to tell my friend it was pretty underwhelming and maybe he shouldn’t even consider stealing it himself to avoid disappointment. I suddenly realised how tragic that situation was, the band had obviously put time, effort and money into recording the album and all I do is effortlessly download it half heartedly listen to it then have the cheek to claim to be disappointed by it. I know the quality of the album is entirely subjective like all music and even if the critical consensus of the album is that it isn’t very good, what right do I have to give my opinion on the album? If I had paid say £10 for the album and didn’t enjoy it I think I have a right to warn people to maybe reconsider buying it if they were also going to pay £10 for it because it is their money they’re parting with! It all just feels very hypocritical and vicious but it is reality, although I am completely self aware of what I am doing I’m not going to stop, I don’t earn very much so buying everything I want to listen to is infeasible and a bit daft really but it is how things used to be!

Music now seems so easily mass consumed it just seems bizarre to me that I probably have some amazing albums I have downloaded and not listened to yet in sacrifice of listening to Fall Out Boy again because it’s easy and fun to listen to. If it hadn’t been for downloading I wouldn’t even be listening to Fall Out Boy because I sure of hell wouldn’t of bought one of their album’s and maybe have bought an amazing album instead. The music industry is now like a vast army of chefs, serving masses of food unwillingly for free, the people who are feeding on it rarely stop to appreciate it and just move on to the next constantly wanting more! I realise that was an awful metaphor but I fear that music is becoming  fickle and disposable, in a sense it’s like people need to take time to stop and listen to the Lennon.

Needless to say I haven’t stopped buying music, in fact I’d say I’m probably one of the people I know who buys the most CDs, for example I nearly have a completed Beatles collection because I feel it’s something I should have because it’s amazing. But then again there’s music I have downloaded that I think is amazing but have yet to buy it, it’s unfair that I favour a band like the Beatles because smaller bands need the money but it is so hard to buy a physical copy of smaller band’s music either because of how little known they are or simply because it’s overpriced as it is not bought en mass like some of the bigger records.

As you can see, the music industry is something that baffles me, it is no longer an industry making billions as it once was, I mean it still makes a tonne of money but independent artists, smaller bands with massive followings etc are losing tonnes of usually well deserved money  because of their intelligent fan base actually being able to work a computer were as Susan Boyle fans are too busy watching X factor, eating take away and being told what to buy to even contemplate the complex workings of the dreaded internets. But then again why should I mock them their not abusing their fandom and stealing are they? It’s a horrible viscous circle and it hurts my mind every time I think about it!

Anyways a relevant blog post of non ramblings should become soon it’s just a thought I wanted to express!

Thanks for reading!

Wes out!

In list related developments, February was actually a productive month especially in regard to mostly creative things, in fact I haven’t felt this motivated creatively in quite some time! I have started a few new writing projects that I hope to actually complete for a change!

More significantly I began some volunteer work which involves writing, this may be the reason I have felt so motivated to write so much recently but it is a very exciting time! My volunteer work is for a friend’s university project, in which we help children develop their creative writing skills it is called the ‘expanding imaginations project’ and I even get my own T shirt! Every Saturday children who we spent last week recruiting will come to the cinema in which I work and watch the early morning children’s film we show for a discounted price, then afterwards we sit down with them and discuss the film, it’s themes, issues it maybe raises and then we get the children to write stories about the themes, the characters etc in the film. As recently expressed in my blog, I love kids films and although I have never worked with children, my own child like wonderment towards various things makes me think I will work with them really well! The first film this weekend is Monsters Vs Aliens, which I have seen and loved, so I am really looking forward to it and will obviously report back on how it went! This is the Facebook page for the project if anyone is interested in it!

On other creative shenanigans I got up to in the month of February was during a visit to Newcastle I visited the contemporary art gallery The Baltic. The reason visit an art gallery is on my list is because I have always had a fascination in art that I rarely pursue, I love how it invokes thought and reaction in people especially in regard to contemporary art and people thinking it is ‘shit’ for lack of a better word and that it is not aty, obviously because the fact that people commonly react in that manner to contemporary art means it establishes itself as an artistic movement therefore indefinitely confirming it as ‘art.’ Any it only felt like half a visit because there was only two exhibitions on when I visited so I am not going to cross it off my list and I plan to revisit it when more works are being shown then that will count as a full visit to an art gallery.

The main exhibition at the Baltic was controversial artist, Damien Hirst’s latest piece, Pharmacy. I studied Hirst during my brief Art foundation study I did at college and was never a fan but I feel I was missing the point of his work, just because until recently the whole post modernist movement annoyed me, not that it doesn’t annoy me now it’s just less so. Anyway if you haven’t seen it, Pharmacy is essentially in the name it is just a pharmacy on display with a counter and shelves full of endless medicines. I think the intention of the piece (or so I’m told) is so that we can view medicine as a belief system in which we have become so dependant on, we go to a pharmacy with an ailment and are pretty confident that we can get something that will make us better, not unlike many years before major advancements in medicine people would rely on prayer so dependently. In the centre of the room there was a bug zapper which was to represent an unbiased merciless god, which I think was my favourite part of the piece. It was very interesting and revitalised a fascination in art I haven’t had since I lost all faith in it during said art course at college. You can argue it’s convoluted and pointless etc. but that obviously just questions the validity of any sort of art medium so there’s no need to bother is there?

Finally, the last creative thing I have partaken in over the past month was my attempt to write poetry. Again like art, I want to expand my poetic pallet because it is something so interesting yet I know so very little about it. So after being inspired by a friend who recently wrote some poetry and also writes a blog, I tried to attempt to write my own! Bare in mind this is essentially my first attempt at poetry since the days of primary school in which were inevitably forced to write some like ‘cat sat on a mat then got flat by a top hat’ etc you know how it was! So this is were I need feedback it would be very much appreciated, I am aware on the very fine line poetry has in becoming pretentious or even unintentionally self deprecating, and I fear with this poem I may tread that line! It is a poem in which I write about a very pressing issue affecting me everyday, time, it’s always against me, making me feel guilty, making me feel insignificant so this is essentially a big F U to time called:

‘From the future through the present to the past’

So there it is, I actually quite like it, it really does say what I hate about time that bastard! anyway any feedback would be appreciated to aid a new potential writing venture! As for my other previously mentioned writing ventures watch this space!

So that was a very lengthy entry in which I probably used the word ‘creative’ about a thousand times and probably come out of it sounding like a bit of a dick but i’ve just been craving things like art, poetry, writing etc for quite sometime and it just hit me all at once! hopefully it won’t be another month until my next entry so until then!

Wes out!

To begin, one of the things I’m most excited about is learning the guitar. Like most people, music is a massive part of my life, I’d like to think I have quite a varied music taste but probably don’t as the majority of it is guitar based. Being so obsessed with music I naturally desire to make my own, I’m constantly writing tunes and lyrics in my head but usually forget them as I have no way to recreate it, but now I have my own guitar it’s now possible! Obviously, since I have only had my guitar for a month I have made little progress, just figuring some basics and trying to overcome learning with stubby fingers, but I have set a target for my first song I learn to be Radio by Alkaline Trio. I have loved this song since I was about 14 obviously because it’s so incredibly angst filled it has been the song of choice for anyone who has wronged me since! I hope to master the song then do one of those annoying Youtube videos in which I perform it and will post it on here!

Be more spontaneous was one of the more vague things on my list. How can someone plan being spontaneous? To me it means just embracing life more, don’t put off the things I’m too scared of doing and just do them. On Wednesday I did just that, it was one of the most impulsive things I have ever done but even though this is my blog and I’m suppose to report everything I do as sort of proof, I don’t really feel like writing about this particular spontaneous incident, not that I regret it or didn’t enjoy it, I just feel it will make my blog a bit one track since my previous post which I did yesterday was in relation to said event. I will write about it at a later date, just be assured I am going to continue doing things I wouldn’t normally and it was one of the crazier things I have done.

As for my driving, the phrase baby steps comes to mind. My driving instructor is probably the most patient man alive, probably on my 10th lesson now and I am still yet to master the art of stopping and starting, everything else I am fine with, but when it comes to say a junction and a car is approaching which means I have to stop, I almost always stall! I see my drivings lessons as a weekly hammering at my self esteem and my assurance of my inability to learn anything, but because of this I am determined to learn to drive and I can’t wait until the day I pass, be it a year or 10!

On top of all this, I finally finished my UCAS application and now I just have to see if I’m going to be excepted, I really can’t wait! Another goal of mine is to become the first person in my family to have a degree!

Overall, the first month of the year has past and despite some personal set backs I feel it’s going well. I just feel really motivated to achieve something this year, an urge I haven’t had for years! I’m going to set some things up, put some thing in motion and hopefully begin clearing some things of the list!

Here’s hoping!

Wes Out!

All good things supposedly have to come to an end, a phrase I never really understood, are people so flawed that we willingly deny ourselves too much happiness?  But then again I am for for over indulging, but why did it have to end so soon?

suddenly I was forced to deprive myself of something I didn’t want too, something I relied on for almost everything, it was a cold, aggressive slap from reality, something I’ve never experienced before but something I’ve heard so frequently about from friends, from family, from songs on the radio and from films in which people cry, beg and do anything to avoid. It was something I always thought would never happen to me for one reason or another and I was somewhat grateful for that fact, it looked awful! Especially considering I thought once I was hooked I’d never need to stop using because it felt so right, so good!

But no, grim reality dealt me everything I feared, I had to wean myself off that which I’d relied so heavily on.

Four months later, and it’s still not any easier, the constant cravings, the shakes, loss of appetite, mind swirling with thoughts of ‘if onlys’ begging for the things to be how they were. In the films it’s all resolved in an hour and a half, in songs it’s balanced out with other songs of hope and joy, tales of moving on, things that seem so far away and so much more difficult to do than just sing about.

Days I just want to lay in bed, maybe the feeling will go away faster if I just sleep it off. Days I just want to talk to someone, anyone but I’m far to self aware to want anyone to think I’m crazy and for anyone to think I’m nothing but cheerful. Part of me wants everyone I know to read this so they know what I’m going through, but then part of me wants to keep it hidden so it’s not seen as a cry for attention.

These are conflicted painful days. Bear with me.